Alex was like a younger sister to me. As I stopped all communication with Alex in 2014, I thought I’ll reconnect with Alex when she turns 18, when she’s an adult, free to make her own choices. I carried on with my life, lived a dual life, and worked as a Content-Editor during the day and a songwriter during the night. I was working on Revolt For at the time. Revolt For released one single and died soon after. I quit my Content-Editor job in Aug 2016, cause I read 2 books, Problem Solving 101, and Guerrilla Music Marketing. Both books are wonderful and changed my life.
Alex turned 18 in 2017. I remember writing this nice encrypted letter for her. I knew she won’t be able to decrypt it on her own, but Ji was a cryptoanalyst. So Alex had all the right people to decrypt the letter. However, when I went to deliver the letter I found that Alex had moved out. On further inquiry, I found that they lived at Churchgate. I had the name of their Housing Complex. So, on 4th August 2017, I went from Mahalaxmi Station to Churchgate, and skateboarded for 2 hours, trying to find the Housing Complex. To my bad luck, there were 3 Housing Complexes by that name. I found all three of them and checked at each one if Alex lived there.
It was quite an interesting, tiring, and adventurous undertaking. The third Housing Complex that I hit was the right one. However, the watchman wouldn’t let me enter without the said person’s approval. So, I rang Alex’s mom and asked her if I could deliver the letter to Alex. I think they were not at home at the time, so she asked me to hand it over to the watchman. I said, "I’m either delivering it to Alex or giving it to you in front of her." For which she said, either give it to the watchman or I can’t help you.
So, the story ended quite harshly and I had to return home without completing my mission. I was extremely upset and felt shattered that all my efforts were in vain. I wondered for months about what I’d done wrong to deserve such treatment. I was not happy about the way her mother treated me; it was slightly humiliating. But I knew in my heart that Alex would understand, she would be on my side. And now that she’s 18, she would be free to make her own choices. I had to somehow get in touch with Alex. But Alex was completely off the grid. That’s when I decided to write the song ‘Reaching Alex’. I knew she listened to a lot of songs. I knew she would somehow come across the song ‘Reaching Alex’ hear what I have to say and get in touch with me.
I performed an acoustic version of the song and released it on my YouTube channel on 6th March 2018. I was working on the studio version, but that was going to take 1 more year to release. Now here’s how bad the story gets. Alex had heard the song a while ago, but she chose not to connect with me. She was either too afraid to face me, she respected her family’s wishes to stay away from me, or she simply didn’t give a damn about me. No matter what was in her heart, the action that she took, or the choice that she made was to not contact me. She kept me in the dark, she kept me hoping, waiting, testing my patience, yearning for that day that I would reconnect with her. After 4 years of waiting, from 2014 to 2018, Alex got in touch with me one day over Instagram and confessed that she’d heard the song a while ago, but didn’t get in touch. We didn’t talk much, she said she was sorry for not messaging and disappeared immediately after.
I waited for 1 more day, just to confirm and then decided to end the chapter. It's okay to end relationships with people who don't make you happy. What's the point of that love, if it tears you apart and leaves you unhappy? I'll find someone new who respects me and my emotions and take a chance with them.
